CHAPTER 12: WHO AM I?

WHO AM I?

Chapter 12

I continued in prostitution and I used the money to buy my baby needs. I stopped when the belly was seven months and prepared myself for delivery. My mom and I weren’t as close as before and I didn’t give a fucck anymore. She said Carlos said I had to leave the house after I gave birth to my baby. He said he couldn’t afford to feed another mouth after I rejected the option to give up the baby for adoption.

The last months of my pregnancy was tough as hell. Both of them showed nothing but hatred. I could only be thankful that I had some cash stashed away. I fed myself, most of the times. It would have been better if I left the house, but I had nowhere to go. None of the guys wanted a pregnant lady as a girlfriend- I understood that. I became a damaged goods and it was more hell, walking the same neighbourhood I once walked like a queen, as a pregnant beggar.

My water got broken at the tenth month and I gave birth to David. Surprisingly, Carlos said I could stay. My mom was happy and she took care of the baby herself. Within two weeks, I was back to shape and was ready to hit the street to provide for myself and David. I did every exercise against the doctor’s instruction to rest for some weeks and in no time, I was the same old Rosa. Tall, beautiful, full lips, flowing black hair, wide hips, soft round butt, long fingers and clean nails. I was back to my full beauty, only with full and bigger better boobs!

I was adoring myself in the mirror, one day, getting ready for the evening, to get to work, when Carlos came inside with my baby.

‘Where’s mom?’ I asked as I collected my baby from him.

He was staring at me and I was scared, but more scared to show it.

‘What do you want, Carlos?’ I managed to say.

‘You know what I want, Rosa.’ He smiled from where he leaned against the doorway.

‘Please, don’t do this. Please!’ I begged. My voice was shaking, I was betrayed by it.

He closed the door and locked it. I started to beg and held the baby against my chest as a shield. I was sure that he wouldn’t attack me with the baby at hand, but I was mistaken. Carlos charged at me like a bull. He struggled to yank the baby away from me but I held him tight. He pulled the baby with one hand and punched me continuously in my face until I let go. I crashed against the mirror and it shattered. The shards rained all over me, where I lay.

Carlos threw the crying baby on the bed like it was never alive and pulled me by my hair, dragging me on the floor as I bruise myself against the shards of the shattered mirror. I screamed as my path left trails of blood as he dragged me along. He punched me again and again until I was helpless. My vision was blur, my head was banging as I watched him unbuckle his belt. He pulled down his pants and started to unbutton my jean. I tried to hold his hands but he punched me twice again and I fainted.

Minutes later, I came back with voices in my head. First, it was the sharp pitched voice of David, crying. Then I could hear mom and Carlos argue.

‘Why the fucck will you break down my fuckin door?’ Carlos shouted at mom, who was also shouting back!

‘What are you doing? Why is my daughter lying naked on the floor?’

‘I thought I sent you to the grocery store, you idiot?’ Carlos screamed.

‘So, you can do what? Why are you even wearing your trouser in half? What is this, Carlos?’

Carlos charged at mom and slapped her hard across her face! Mom turned to protect David as Carlos raised his arm for another blow, and slammed herself against the door frame, which ricocheted both mom and David in different directions. David wailed and I started to cry. I could hear my mom scream and David wail. Somehow, those gave me strength. I pulled myself up and didn’t bother to cover my nakedness. It was apparent he was already in the act when mom interrupted him- I could feel it between my thighs.

I held on to a long sharp shard of glass as I crawled towards the wife-beater! Mom was trying to fight back. David was screaming hard. I drew more strength within and got to his back. Mom was already helpless-she lay still with a swollen face as Carlos continued plummeting her face. I climbed on his back and before he could swung me aside, I stabbed him in by the side of his neck with the shard. I held onto it as he struggled to be free- swinging like a pendulum. I stabbed him again and again, screaming in fulfilment and glued to his back like a laughing bad-advice, after a consequent.

Carlos was strong. He stood up and rammed me against the wall. I screamed but I refused to let go. I held on to the shard on his neck and held it in place; pressing it hard. With me on his back, he ran towards the flat screen TV and slammed me against it. This time, I fell off his back.
‘Bitch!’ He said huskily. ‘You are fucking dead!’ He sprinkled out blood from many places through his neck as he talked.

I couldn’t explain where the strength came from, I charged towards him and pushed him hard. He tripped against a furniture and fell flat on his face. I grabbed a shard from the TV screen and stabbed him again- right beside his ears as he was trying to stand. He stood still… and fell back. I starred at his dead body, face down. His hands on the shard in his neck, I felt relieved.

Suddenly, it dawned on me that David was no more crying.

‘David!’ I screamed and sprang on my feet.

But I stopped immediately as I was faced with my mom with a clam face, with David in her hands, sleeping peacefully.

‘Mom…’ I wanted to explain.

‘I know, I know.’ My mom interrupted.

‘He raped me!’

‘I know, baby.’ My mom said. She spread her other hand and I curled myself into it.

‘I killed him.’ I cried softly.

‘It is okay, Rosa. Don’t think about that.’

‘Mom…’

‘Look at me. Go inside, pack your things and go to my brother, Pablo. U know him?’
I nodded.

‘Good. Tell Pablo exactly what happened and he is going to come take care of this mess. I will take care of David. You need to leave. Pablo will get you to the America.’

‘Mom…’

‘Listen to me, Rosa. You need to get your head cleared. Get out, now!’

And that was it. I never told my mom that the child belongs to Carlos, the jerk. Pablo got me to America, and that was the start a new really fuccked up life- the same one you have been reading about!

End of 12